Look in help ads:
So Morton picked up the help wanted paper to see what jobs were available. He searched through not really finding one. Then at the very last ad he found the perfect job. It said Looking for anyone who likes to eat cheese. Job requires that you are always hungry and follow orders well. Morton was very pleased to hear such a job existed. So he immediately called the number and made an appointment. He was told the location to head to and did so. When he arrived at the location it was a dark alleyway with no entrances. Before Morton could realize this he fell through a trap door and was knocked unconscious.
See what happens to Morton.
-OR-
Join your hero.